固執的女人總是失敗

在網路上看到一篇文章，認為有一些道理。

婚姻關係很複雜、也只有夫妻倆個人才知道箇中的辛酸與困難。雖然婚姻的失敗倆個人都有責任、而世俗人的觀念中大部份都認為離婚的結果男方要付大部份的責任，但是現在的女權運動與女權觀念早已不是以前完全是男人單方面的問題了。當然，若出現家庭暴力的情況又另當別論。不管怎麼說，在男人心中，總是希望自己的太太是溫柔體貼、善解人意、又手藝一流，就算沒有一項條件符合要求，至少能夠包容自己另一半的缺點通常也就夠了。

以下就是分享文 -------

「固執的女人總是失敗：

固執的女人在婚姻中會失敗，甚至在與親戚的關係中也會失敗。缺乏情緒智商和與周遭人相處時缺乏彈性的女性，是她們婚姻和生活中最大的失敗。為什麼？

她與丈夫展開了一場自私的拉鋸戰，更喜歡用自負的聲音來試圖戰勝他，事實上，她在丈夫的自負和周圍人的自負前失敗了，因為男人變得更加自負。妻子和固執的姊姊面前他們變得固執，在順從的女人面前變得更加溫柔。

任性的女人認為堅持自己的意見就能獲勝，在任何反對派面前她都能站穩腳步。她忘記了，即使她憑藉自己固執的觀點和立場獲勝，她也失去了愛她、關心她的心。

各種文化中的許多敘事和智慧諺語都讚揚了隨和、溫柔、友善、耐心和持久的女性。甚至使者（願主福安之）和他之後的聖門弟子也推薦和讚揚一個尊重丈夫、說話溫柔而智慧的女人，反過來，他也會愛她，永遠不會離開她。

女人會服從她的丈夫，並屈身讓暴風雨過去；她是一位聰明、理性的女性，她能夠茁壯成長，並把家庭維繫在一起。那些像一根不屈的乾棍一樣站著的女人最終會折斷，遭受不可挽回的傷害。

不妥協的女人堅持自己的意見。她試著不斷地維持她勝利的幻想：我贏了，你輸了，我是對的，你是錯的。這樣的女人，先毀掉自己，再毀掉別人。她在今世和來世都過著悲傷沮喪的生活。

根據我的婚姻諮商經驗，我發現固執的女性最終會離婚。他們的家庭和社交生活都慘遭失敗。甚至最終摧毀了她自己父親的家庭和他的兄弟姐妹的家庭

一位貝都因阿拉伯婦女在女兒結婚當天給女兒的建議，被所有成功女性認為是對女性最好的建議。她說：

「成為他的奴隸……他肯定會成為你即將成為的奴隸」。

「男人是善良、慷慨、仁慈的，但頑固、愚蠢的女人卻使他們成為敵人。”

最後我引用一位睿智的酋長的話（願上帝憐憫他）：

我當了27年的民事法院法官......我發現大多數離婚事件都是由男人的憤怒和女人的愚蠢反應引起的。

換句話說，女人的固執，讓男人比她還要固執十倍。

好吧，在女權主義和女性平權行動盛行的今天，我發現年輕女性對自己與配偶的關係的看法因自負和不耐煩而受到嚴重損害。她們不願意努力克服自己固有的缺陷，認為男人應該是適應自己特質的人。我個人認為上述建議是有效的，任何想要婚姻成功的女人都會對他們有好處。」

STUBBORN WOMEN ARE ALWAYS FAILURE:

Stubborn women fail in their marriages, and even in their relationships with relatives. Women who lack emotional intelligence and flexibility in dealing with people around them, are the biggest failures in their marriages and their lives. Why?

She enters into an egoistic tug of war with her husband, and prefers the voice of her ego to try to overcome him, and in fact she fails before the ego of her husband and the ego of those who are around her, because men become more stubborn in front of a stubborn wife and stubborn sister, and they become more gentle in front of a submissive woman.

A headstrong woman thinks that she can win while insisting on her opinion, and she can stand in front of any opposition. She forgets that even if she wins by her obstinacy in her opinion and stand,  she loses the heart that was loving her and caring for her.

Many narrations and wise proverbs in all the cultures have praised an easy-going, soft, friendly, patient and enduring woman. Even the Messenger (peace and blessings be on him) and the Companions after him, recommended and praised a woman who respects her husband and speaks with softness and wisdom, and in turn he will love her and never leave her.

The woman who will obey her husband and stoop to let the storm pass; she is the wise, rational woman who thrives, and holds the family together. The woman who stands like an unyielding dry stick is the one who breaks, suffering irreparable damage.

The uncompromising woman clings to her opinion. She tries to constantly perpetuate the illusion of her victory: I win and you lose, I am right and you are wrong. Such a woman destroys herself before destroying others. And she lives a life of sorrowful despondency in this world and the hereafter.

From my experiences in marital counseling, I found that mulish women end up in divorce. And bitterly fail in their family and social life. The even end up destroying her own  father family and his siblings'

The advice of a bedouin Arab woman to her daughter on the day of her marriage, is considered  by all the successful women the best advice for a woman. She said:

"Be his slave......and surely he becomes your imminent slave".

"Men are kind, generous and benevolent, but a stubborn, foolish woman turns them into enemies."

Finally I quote a wise Sheikh (may God have mercy on him):

I was a civil court judge  for 27 years.........and I found that most of the divorce incidents are caused by the anger of a man, and by the foolish responses of a woman.

In other words, the stubbornness of a woman makes a man ten times more stubborn than her.*

Well, in these days of feminism and female affirmative action, l find that the perceptions young women have about what should be their relationship with their spouses is seriously blighted by ego and impatience. They are not willing to work on their inherent flaws and feel the man should be the one to adjust to their own idiosyncrasies. I personally think the above tips works and any woman who wants to make a success of her marriage will do well to them